People-Pleasing: 1 Nephi 19:9

“And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men.” 1 Nephi 19:9

Once, I was talking to my mom about how much trouble I was having with people-pleasing. I constantly measured my personal progression with others’ approval of me, my works, and my personality. I remarked that if everyone liked me, that would mean I am a “good enough” person. 

Her reply changed the entire game, and enlightened me completely: she reminded me that some of the best people she could think of were in fact hated by a good number of people— for example, the Prophet and the apostles. 

Never before had I considered that likability was not directly linked with goodness, righteousness, and virtue. I was in such a socially anxious state that a thought otherwise had never even crossed my mind. 

When I began to think, however, I remembered that even Christ Himself, the best, perfect example, was so disliked by a group of people that they killed Him. I realized that doing what’s right does not mean that everyone will adore you. In fact, if everyone does, then its possible you’re doing something wrong.

Apart from goodness, which only God can measure, nothing we can say or do will ever change our worth. In Genesis 1:27 and 31, it says, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them…And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.” Even before you did anything with your life, you were good. You were already of worth. Nothing can devalue that automatic, God-given worth. A crumpled $20 bill is worth the same as a crisp, pristine $20 bill. Yes, you need to be a good person and keep His commandments, but you are always of worth, no matter what mistakes you make. You’re worth it—worth the effort, the time, and the pain of the Atonement. Don’t give up on yourself.

We shouldn’t focus so much on likability and people-pleasing—I know, it’s hard not to—because Christ was the best person to ever live and He was so unpopular that he was brutally crucified. Others’ impressions or views of us do not reflect our goodness, worth, or value, and therefore we should not judge ourselves by their measure of approval. Statistics don’t work in the Lord’s plan that way.

I know that your worth and my worth and your goodness, in every sense of the term, is so much greater than how others would price us. Luckily, there is no bargain-buying of souls. We are each infinitely important and infinitely valued.